On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize