Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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