Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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