Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
