he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Come on in and take your pants off
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