Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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