I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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