i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
