glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Where is the hickey?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
there is glitter all over my balls
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