That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
