My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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