So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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