You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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