were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
