In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
