remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
