We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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