Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize