yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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