So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize