When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
