do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
