Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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