biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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