I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize