Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
