I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
