What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
