He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
