the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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