sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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