idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
