Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
