Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
