We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize