what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
