yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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