I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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