Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
