Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Congratulations! We have a period
I currently don't understand fingers.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
