Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
