I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
