Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My pussy is not your playground.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
