it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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