I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
