The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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