his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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