pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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