O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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