i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
