I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
