How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
