Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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