the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
