I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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