In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
