so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
