Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
