girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
