Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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