Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
