There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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