where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
