you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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