We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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