Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
