"it" just moved
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This can only be settled by a dance off.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
