We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
