My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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