i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
