thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
