Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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