we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
