so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
